Have you ever read back through some of your writing and wondered who wrote it? Or thought wow…this is frikken amazing and then spent the next hour curled up reading it?
I know I can’t be alone in this–of course with my twisted brain–maybe it’s just me…please tell me it’s not just me…
One afternoon I was flipping through some files on my laptop and came across a short story I’d written a couple of years ago.
I clicked on it, started reading and was immediately drawn in–in fact, I couldn’t put it down. I know I wrote it but was still impressed with the skill and cleverness of the writing.
The whole idea of the imposter syndrome is real and creeps in all the time. As I read some of my old stuff I ask myself who wrote this? Where is that person? Am I that good? Is it okay (or is it arrogant) if I think of myself as a good writer?
The imposter syndrome is something I think many writers suffer from–the belief that any success is pure luck and not due to talent or skill. There’s always a feeling of not being worthy or a fear of being identified as a fraud as we constantly compare ourselves to those other highly skilled writers we admire (and who, by the way, probably also suffer from imposter syndrome).
I’m at a point in my life that I can now own my success even if it’s difficult for me to comprehend. One thing I had to do was get into the habit of putting “FWT” (Faye Wrote This) at the bottom of my typewritten page or at on the page of my many spiral notebooks where I scribble ideas, random thoughts, and clever sentences.
In doing this I’m able to own it all.
The FWT came about really for my notes–either on my phone, on paper, or on the computer. I scribble stuff down all the time including when I’m engaged in other things like watching TV, reading, or listening to a podcast.
While the different mediums may spark an idea, I don’t want to come back later and wonder if the words are a quote or representation of someone else–hence the initials. I have notes that contain great ideas but I can’t remember if they’re original to me (little imposter syndrome there–this is too clever to be mine–ugh) so I won’t use them. FWT solved that little dilemma because then I know they’re mine and mine alone.
I’ll never be confused again–pretty good for my twisted writer brain.