In the olden days, before smart phones and social media, when a couple broke up—whether dating or married—there’d be resignation or perhaps some tears and name calling. Heck, sometimes big drama would take over as family and friends were informed via telephone, a letter, or in person.
The one thing there wasn’t—was ‘following’—unless done under the name of late night stalking.
Now we see people announce their breakup on social media and then continue to follow each other’s lives as though they’d never broken up. It’s all too simple. Too pat. And yup, you guessed it, I don’t agree with it.
You know it’s one thing to keep your love letters in a dusty box in the attic but it’s another thing to “like” your ex’s new hairdo or to “comment” on their status. It seems creepy and undone.
If you break up it means that’s it…done…finito…ciao baby…get lost…or good luck. It doesn’t mean you keep them in your life through media– “just because”.
I see several people following their ex’s on Instagram or Facebook and I wonder why.
Why is this acceptable?
Why is it happening?
If you’re broken up shouldn’t you unfriend/unfollow/delete?
Am I making a mountain out of a wee molehill? Am I missing the whole point? Are people more mature about breakups than they were before social media?
Idk—but somehow I doubt it. The human spirit is one thing that often stays pretty solid through the changing of societal norms and growth. Feelings are still feelings and I don’t know about you but seeing a guy you dated now with the hottest babe in the city doesn’t exactly thrill me. Why?
I guess you’ve probably figured out that I think—unless there’s a shared child—maintaining “friendship” status on social media is unacceptable. There’s absolutely no reason an ex should have a window into your private life and continue to share in all that’s going on.
That is not a break up. Perhaps people stay ‘friends’ just in case? or to keep future options open?
Nope. Not acceptable. Sorry.
If I put myself in the place of someone who’s just started dating someone—the new girl on the scene, so to speak, only to find out that my new guy is still texting his ex or scrolling through her pictures on Instagram—oh, there’d be drama all right—I’d be downright pissed.
Am I way off base here? Am I the only one?
I don’t think I’m a hugely jealous person, but I could see this being an issue for some…if not overtly, then psychologically.
If a new partner comes on the scene will we label them as a possessive killjoy if they request no ex’s on social media? Is that an unreasonable request?
Is this full transparency in the relationship or does it matter? Perhaps I missed the social media etiquette on this one and need to learn tolerance but sorry I’m not sure I can budge on this one.
I think it does matter and I believe a new relationship should start off with as little baggage as possible and that means no ex’s hanging around the house via social media.
I’d love to know what you think.
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