Auntie Says..., Faye Arcand, Faye E. Arcand

Auntie Says…Do You Plan the Wedding After the First Date?

Oops might be time to slow down. Just saying.

A new relationship can be so exciting. 

Your mind wanders, and warm thoughts tingle from your toes to your nose—nice! It really is magical and can lead to dreamy feelings of foreverness. 

There’s really nothing like it when you connect with another person. You want to spend all your time together and when apart can’t think of anything or anyone else. 

Auntie will tell you though, it’s fine to let yourself linger in those feelings but slow it down when your brain gets ahead of everything else. It can be a terrible habit to think too far ahead, too early in a relationship.

Remember to live in the moment and take things one day at a time—especially fresh in a relationship. 

Sometimes, with all the dreamy yummy feelings going on, you can set unhealthy expectations by thinking way too far into the future. 

If you come up with scenarios that have your new love as this perfect mate who you’re going to marry and have babies with—you need to put on the brain brake and get your thoughts into perspective. 

At the early stages of a relationship you’re just getting to know each other. You may find yourself actually falling for the potential instead of the person right in front of you. 

Ask yourself: Are you in love with the person or the idea of them? 

Be completely honest with yourself. If you find it’s more the latter, then at least you are aware what you’re doing.

Projecting in this instance is the desire to love, nest, and commit. While these are all great qualities and admirable things to want in a partner, you need to be careful and not put yourself in a situation where you’re either taken advantage of, walked all over, or you scare off a potential long-term relationship by giving and wanting too much, too soon. 

Identify what you’re wanting in a partner. Get to know your new friend with face-to-face conversation. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable and show emotion is powerful in moving a relationship to the next level but it has to be on both sides. If you’re doing all the giving and nothing is reciprocal, then there’s an issue.

Be willing to share what traits and attributes are important to you and don’t be willing to settle for whatever comes along. 

If on your third date, you’re dreaming of diamond rings, wedding venues, and what to name your firstborn—take a step back. Be honest with yourself and examine the relationship for what it really is. 

While it’s great to be a romantic, you have to also be a realist. 

Take your time. Let it happen. It will. 


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