advice, Auntie Says, Dating, Faye Arcand, Faye E. Arcand, Lifestyle, Personal Empowerment, teen advice

How to Take Charge and Ask the Guy Out

The dating world is difficult enough and now you have to contend with Covid restrictions and social distancing. Remember those aren’t necessarily a bad thing when it comes to getting to know someone. If you’re dating and you jump straight to making out or sex, it interferes with communication and getting to know each other. Seriously, it really does. Check out this blog on dating and covid.

inquirer.com

Covid is making you step back and get to know someone first, but the question here today is how do you get that guy to ask you out? But, my counter-question is why does the guy always have to do the asking?

If you’re waiting around waiting for some guy to ask you out–I say Why? If you want to get to know him better and you like him– then ask him out.

Let’s say you’re both shy, socially awkward, or suffer from social anxiety–that leaves you both terrified to ask the other. Not a good place to be, but believe me it’s very common in todays world.

Are you afraid to ask a guy out for fear of ruining the friendship? Idk. I think if you ask you’d probably have a 50/50 chance of him saying yes. Those are pretty good odds.

Here’s the thing. Guys carry a lot of weight on their shoulders and feel pressure to always have to be the one who initiates anything. There are many guys who are super sensitive and do not want to offend anyone let alone a woman.

It can be really difficult for them to find the confidence to ask you out. I know it would take a lot for you too, but embrace your Girl Power and take charge of the situation.

Here’s the secret. Don’t wait for him. Do the asking yourself.

There may be some blushing and stuttering but hey if you like the guy what have you got to lose? Guys, especially the ones dubbed the “nice guys”, lack the ability to know whether you like them or not. Signals and flirting are difficult to read and understand. They need to be told in a straight forward way–not pushy or bitchy–always stay classy but don’t be afraid to ask.

Here’s How.

  1. Look him straight in the eye: “Wanna go on a date with me?” Then look away and let him answer. Don’t stare or make it a challenge. It could make him uncomfortable–and you too.
  2. Don’t look at him but make sure he’s listening–Maybe you’re working on a homework assignment together or something: “I’ve been thinking that I’d like to get to know you better. Would you like to go on a date with me?” Give him time to answer.
  3. Write him a note and make him read it in front of you: “Hi. I really like you and would like to ask you out on a date. So would you like to go for a hike with me?” Again give him time to read it once…maybe twice.
  4. Half and half: “Hi. I’ve been wanting to ask you something….” oh oh….starting to lose your nerve? Hand him the prepared note: “I want to tell you that I think you’re pretty cool and I’d like to ask you to be my boyfriend.”
  5. Text him: Hi. Would you like to go out with me tomorrow? Coffee? 4pm Yes or no. This gives him an out but also spells it right out.
  6. Email: Hi. I would like to know if you’re interested in going on a date with me. You can follow the text example.
  7. Ask a friend to talk to him: this is a bit of a copout but if used as a last resort….Sometimes it may be more effective because your own nerves won’t get in the way. A friend may also be able to pump up your finer points.
  8. Chat him up a little. “Hi. It’s a nice day isn’t it? I really like your shirt. Would you like to go out with me on a date?”
  9. Completely out there: “Hi. I really like you. I find you interesting and fun. I’d really like to go on a date with you.” If affirmative then set a date and time–with all the details like what to where/bring/go/how to get there etc.–so there’s no confusion.
  10. Join in on a group date with friends and let him know that you consider this your first date. Remember there’s a fine line between being fun and being pushy. Watch his face–if he’s horrified then step back and reassess. If he smiles and looks you in the eye….well, that’s a good thing.

Now like I said, you must not leave anything you say to the imagination. If you say “go out” make sure he knows it’s an actual “date”. This is SO important and I can’t stress it enough. When you’re dealing with shy or socially awkward guys, they’ll question everything about what you said or what you meant. Lay your truth on the line…. Don’t leave room for self-doubt or confusion on his side.

Let me know what happens.

Thanks for reading Auntie Says…


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