Living Alone is a Great Start
Have you ever lived alone? And, here I mean by yourself…no parents, no siblings, no children, roommates, or spouse. I’m talking–lived alone–paid your own way and depended on no other person except yourself? Have you?
This sounds like an easy question and I’m sure the answer would be split. Maybe half of people would say yes and the other half not. The reason I ask the question though is because it can be the difference between independence and freedom and a lifelong desire to hide in the basement of your parents home due to social anxiety.
Okay, that may be a bit of an extreme but seriously, living alone not only teaches you a lot about yourself but also forces you to grow up and take control of your life.
Don’t Let Covid Hold you Back
I’m well aware that your wings have been clipped because of the pandemic. You can’t travel as freely and economic restrictions may have sidelined your plans to move forward with your life. With all that in mind I still want you to stop and think about the future. I want you to start planning for your independence.
When you live on your own, you’ll have to do your own laundry, kill the spider that climbs across your face at night, do the dishes, scrub the toilet, pay the rent, make sure you buy toilet paper, etc. etc. Everything you don’t think of unless you have to.
Don’t wait…start now.
Even if you’re stuck at home because of covid…You can begin the steps toward building your own strength of character by accepting responsibility for what you need to do in a daily basis. Start by taking care of the basics.
As a kid, I was taught to always find my own way and not depend on, or expect, anyone to pay my way. This was important back in the day when women married at a young age and started having babies on a yearly basis. (I never fell into that category btw as I lived alone for years and didn’t marry until I was 35!–I guess I really took the advice to heart)
Often young people went from being at home living with their parents right into marriage or shared living situation. I think this is still common today (maybe more of a room mate or common law status) due to finances.
Learn to Support Yourself
For any young person it’s important to know you can support yourself both financially and and socially. IMO it’s important to live alone and not only get to know yourself but build that strength of knowing your own capabilities.
Do you like your own company? Are you afraid of being alone? Do you know how to ‘entertain’ yourself or do you have the constant need to be around others? Can you pay your own rent? Do you know what a security deposit is all about?
Auntie is always available to help guide you. Having someone in your corner is important and always remember–there’s no stupid questions! Don’t be afraid to ask.
Knowing how to be independent can also alleviate getting stuck, or caught, in an abusive relationship. If you don’t believe in yourself and know you can support yourself you may stay in a bad relationship because you see no way out. That’s a tragedy.
While the statistics show most domestic violence is centered around women, men are definitely not immune.
Know You Can go it Alone if Necessary
Being trapped in any type of negative situation or relationship can be a disaster. Reach out and ask for help–whether from Auntie, a teacher, or pastor…It doesn’t matter. If you’re in a situation where your mental or physical safety is in danger then seek help and get out.
You need to be able to pick up the phone and ask for help if necessary. You need to put social anxiety to the side and function in the world . Don’t let someone else call all the shots because you lack confidence. That’s not living.
I would advocate all young people get some semblance of work experience and learn to support yourself. Learn how to pay the utilities and budget. Gain some self confidence in learning to care for yourself and don’t depend on someone else to always do it for you.
I’m not saying this is going to solve domestic violence–that’s a whole other topic the you can read about here–but even if one person says they’d be better off alone than in a bad relationship– then bravo.
I Know You can Do it.
Remember, knowledge is power and by supporting yourself you give yourself independence and strength. That is a gift you can give to yourself… it’s worth it.
These days all the information is right at your fingertips on the internet. You can search up anything. Go do it. Support yourself for one full year or begin your plan to make it happen after the pandemic. In the end you’ll be glad that you took control of your own life. And remember–you’re the one in charge of you.
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