We need to remember how resilient and smart little kids are. They adapt much quicker and easier than adults. Talk to them about their fears. Are they mimicking you or do they have genuine concerns?
Don't arrive reeking of pot or alcohol. It's a real turn off. Don't assume that you can just light up in the back yard and think that others won't be offended. If you're a smoker--tobacco, vape, or weed--ask the host/hostess where you should smoke BEFORE lighting up.
When that dad was cut off and shut out he sought court orders and was told he had no rights. Who knows if the child, who is now thirty, ever heard any other side or reasoning as to what happened. There was obviously no understanding on the part of the child as to the damage that would occur. Kids of that age don't have the ability to look so far into the future and weigh out the possible consequences.