Gaslighting is a term used to describe a form of psychological abuse where someone makes you doubt not only yourself and all you know, but also your sanity, your memory, and perceptions of reality.
First and foremost the women in porn are there for the money. They're actors. The average woman does not do all her grocery shopping wearing six inch stilettos, a mini skirt with a crop top, with a vibrator tucked in her purse so she can duck into the storage room in the back.
Are you fat? Well, I guess it depends on who you ask doesn't it? You've already been judge and jury so it doesn't appear that any other opinion matters. You know this is not only destructive to yourself but keeps a wall up against others.